Meliahs Thanksgiving survival guide

The time is here where all most folks can think about is turkey, macaroni and cheese and them nasty folks love them some chitterlings. The biggest concern around the holidays is typically what to cook, where to eat, what to wear, and how to clap back and them shots family gone be firing! Do not fret or sweat for I am here to help you out bro/sis.

Food: If you plan on cooking this year I recommend to go ask the OG for them recipes! The OG can be anybody or your own grandma, mama, or auntie. My favorites are Greens, macaroni and cheese (baked), dressing with turkey in it, turkey, cranberry sauce, and sweet potato pie. We don't eat that stove top and don't you dare think Patty's pie gone cut it! If you can't cook I suggest you go to the nearest family member/friends house where they can and did cook!

Clothes: If you going around family wear the outfit that will make them shut up about your weight, who you date, or what job you have now. If you going to your boo peoples house, dress like you going to church, that way a drunk uncle/aunt won't hit on you. Also stay out grandma/mama way when they making plates. If they ask for help you better, and sneak a to go plate on in there if the food is banging. If they can't cook, ask for small portions and say you on a diet because your doctor said you pre diabetic.  

Clap backs: Having a clap back is an art. Some people got them happy go lucky families that are happy and proud of everything they do. Unfortunately too many of us, yes I said us, got petty family members that be stalking our social medias ready to aim and fire at us. You can take the easy way out and play deaf, dumb, or even act like your stomach hurt. For the brave ones don't be afraid to be swift, sharp, and quick with the responses, hell switch it up on them and start asking the questions. Google them thanksgiving clap back memes if you need to be pre equipped. Just don't go out like no punk.

Extra: If you smoke don't hotbox them come back in the crib, you just asking for the old folks to say something. Don't get drunk if you mad at anybody at the house and can't hold your liquor well. I still can't come to thanksgiving dinner because of that.

Remember this day is about being thankful, coming together, and for the lucky folks, a free day off work!